The ability to text or to tweet or to just write on someone’s wall enables you to flirt and tease without there ever being a “what-exactly-is-this-relationship” moment.
And so, in that regard, when you have not established what the relationship is, I think it can be hurtful to constantly be involved in the technological realm, rather than the face-to-face realm.
Unfortunately, men and women are wired differently. Not only are we different because of our genders, but we’re different because each person’s past experience helps mold their expectations and each person’s past experience is different. You’ll get a taste of what drives them, what gives their life meaning and significance. It’s always nice to know what the other person views as ideal in their eyes. Let them name the top three qualities that are non-negotiable. What have you learned from your past relationships?
It also gives you a view of what a future would look like with them. You can see if you’re looking for the same thing in terms of what makes a relationship good. Ideally, it would be nice to go through each of your past relationships, not to relive pain or point out the mistakes of your exes, but it’s important to know that the person you’re with has learned from their own mistakes and isn’t just moving forward ready to make the same repeat mistakes with you. These are deep questions that could lead to lengthy conversations, but it’s important to know what you’re getting into.
It beats questions like, “What’s your favorite color?
If you want to know what to say when you approach a girl for the first time, go here.
So, in that way, I’m encouraged by what technology has to offer.
If, though, we are saying that technology has changed the game in regards to how single young men and women approach one another, before that relationship is defined, then I have a lot of concern about technology.
To help find the right questions, we called on three not-yet-married friends who gave some time to thinking about the challenges faced by singles: Lore Ferguson, Paul Maxwell, and the recently engaged Marshall Segal.
We ended up with these questions: The Bible commands Christians to marry “in the Lord,” that is, to marry other Christians (1 Corinthians ; 2 Corinthians ).